So as you've guessed when you saw the title of this post , its not a fashion post ((sorry)) but its sort of a "Lets get into Vanessa's mind" sort of post . Lately I've been getting a lot of negative vibes about my appearance like how fat I am , how not perfect my skin is & etc .
I'm sure that I'm not the only one with insecurities but let's just talk about it shall we ? My weight has always been a problem since I was younger & I knew it . But up until now , people keep reminding me of how fat I am . I was never the type to , you know , really care about what people say . I've always been the type to be 90% of the time be comfortable in my own body ; comfortable in the fact that I wasn't stick thin like the other girls . I'm not really like fat fat but as you can see from my photos , I ain't skinny . Before this when people tend to mention about my weight or my size , I never took it to heart , but it does hurt just a tad bit . I knew I was fat but didn't hate myself for it . There are days where I just wanted to be alone , under the covers & cry about how not perfect I am compared to others . I admit it , I have those days .
Other than my weight problems , I do not have perfect skin like other girls . I never had perfect skin . Even thought I seem to have flawless skin on camera , that's just camera magic . Truth is , I have pretty bad skin . Huge ass pores & black heads . I stopped having pimples for a really long time now but I still have like oily skin , black heads & huge pores . Even when I wear make up , I can never seem to cover it all up . Unless I go for that really thick make up crap that would make me look so.... just ew . I am ashamed of my skin . But I don't hate myself . I've been taunted countless times over how fat I am & how bad my skin is .
Lastly , I have so many other imperfections such as an overbite which means my jaw is long , I am only 152cm , I have stubby fingers , a short neck & the list goes on & on .
My point here isn't to gain sympathy or whatever but to say , I'm okay & happy with myself . I don't need to change myself . Yes , I'd like to improve myself weight wise & also skin wise . But its not because people insult me or make fun of me , its because I want to . I'll do what makes me happy , & what I think is good for myself . I am who I am . If I listened to others , who would I be ? I wouldn't be me . I wouldn't be happy .
I do compare myself to other bloggers sometimes cause they're all tall , skinny & have flawless skin . I feel sad & all that for just a little while then tell myself , "Appreciate who you are because there is only one YOU , & you shouldn't change yourself just cause everyone else thinks you should but change yourself cause you want to"
LOVE YOURSELF CAUSE NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU BETTER THAN YOU .
Till then ,
V
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