I'll be honest , I've written this post a thousand times but never seemed to be able to express everything that's happened to me this year perfectly .
This year has been some what a long ass story that I can never finish telling , its crazy . This year has been just THAT crazy . I can honestly say now that life is TRULY a big ass roller coaster .
Moving to a place about 20 minutes from Shah Alam where I used to live right after SPM was rather stressful because all I ever had was in Shah Alam . I had to detach myself from that place & force myself to adapt .
I lost friends , many friends this year due to my difficulty of adapting .
But life had to move on even though I lost many people I cared for along the way . When my SPM results came out , it felt like the world was totally against me . I was disappointed & so was everyone else . My dad told me to chin up because the world is full of opportunities . You just have to find them . & I realize now that its true .
After looking at many colleges , my dad said that I should go to Tunku Abdul Rahman College because it would be good for me to start mixing with Chinese people and according to my sister TARC really does make you study .
So I applied for their certificate program so I would be qualified for the diploma program after a year and four months .
I constantly checked for my application status online for two weeks until the day the results were finally revealed .
I was accepted .
I was totally over the moon but forgetting the fact that I had to be in the Kampar , Perak campus because its the only campus that has the program . So obviously I had no other choice , right ?
I fell into a slight depression , asking myself why am I going through all of this . I hated it . I hated that I had to leave my family behind , live on my own . & at that time , I had to leave my boyfriend behind . I could only go back home once a week . I cried almost everyday just dreading the day I had to go away . I felt I was losing .
I know I sound so dramatic but I wasn't ready . Not even the slightest bit .
The day for me to leave KL had arrived & with the blessings of my loved ones , I was on my way to my college life . The first week was hell other than meeting new friends that hardly spoke any English , I adapted .
I got used to the life here in Kampar . But having to socialize most of my first semester , the boyfriend thought I had changed & forgotten all about him when truth was , I didn't . He was always busy working so I just , waited till the clock stuck midnight to give him a ring . But I guess that wasn't enough . I had a lot on my plate , he knew that too . So after two months into my first semester , we ended things .
I fell into a slight depression again . It was hard . It was just terribly hard .
But life had to move on with or without him , y'know ?
((But I recently went to the place he worked at & it was dead awkward . After talking to him about what happened , I realized , I've moved too far into the future that I just can't go back . I think its the same for him as well ? Idk))
This year wasn't all that bad . I've been blessed with many great people along the way . I now treasure them greatly .
None of them had any negative effects on me which meant I've changed immensely due to so much positivity that I've gotten from them .
My nights in Kampar are usually spent in Generation One campus church till like 11pm & by the time I get back , I just flop on to my bed & sleep .
I don't know what I'd do without them . Actually I do , I'd be in my room rotting or at the cyber cafe wasting my time & money on Left 4 Dead 2 . Yes , I play L4D2 .
I've seemed to have gotten rid of all my bad habits & my anger issues , they're not even existent anymore ! Its crazy how much I've changed for the better this year & I've got so many people to thank for it .
I've managed to develop a new way of thinking & I love it now . I don't get depressed easily , I don't get mad easily , I'm just not the old Vanessa I was back earlier this year .
I'm proud of myself .
& I'm ready for 2014 .
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