A Letter To The Girl Who Is Turning 21.

To the girl that's turning 21:

Growing up, turning 21 meant that you're a grown up, an adult. It meant that your life is supposed to be on course by now, that you'd have your shit together. But you find yourself, stuck in a place where you can hardly even figure out why you're still stuck in that place, a place you were supposed to NOT be. You blame yourself constantly day after day for not doing better, but you wonder if maybe there is a reason behind it all. 

You're surrounded by people, who deem to care for you. Most of them do, no doubt. Though you still doubt them, wondering if any of them will be there when you're crying at 3AM. You want to drop some of them, because deep down you know they aren't the ride or die types, even if you're all about them, still you don't dare cause you're afraid of having a small amount of friends. 

To the girl that's turning 21:

Your friends are getting diplomas, degrees & even getting married with their high school sweethearts. But you're still there, stuck. You attend their big day, wondering when will it be your turn. You're happy for them, not even the tiniest bit jealous. 

You think, you should be with the love of your life but why hasn't he walked through that door yet? Is he ever coming? You sort of give up, not wanting to hope for anything because hope & expectations killed you the last time. Your walls are built up sky high, made of steel even so no one could even come in. 

To the girl that's turning 21: 

Your family somewhat sees you as a disappointment, though they don't say it. Their silence speaks to you like no other. Their eyes could tell you more than their words ever could. You try, to make them happy while you're crying in the shower, wondering if you'll ever be enough. 

You wonder when will the time come for you to become enough for anyone. When? Because you're tired from waiting. You've tried to change yourself, so that everyone would see you with a better opinion. You, deep down do care about what they think of you. People constantly judge you, from your hair, to your clothes, to your body, even to the way you laugh. You've tried to change it all while posting a status on your social media account saying, "Who cares what other people think? I'll do me."

To the girl that's turning 21:

ITS OKAY. 

It will be okay. Everything will fall into place, one day. You will get to where you're supposed to be, you will get that diploma & degree, & that love of your life you've been waiting for? He'll walk through that door. Drop those friends who make you doubt them & appreciate those who truly care for you. Your family loves you for who you are, even if you don't live up to their expectations. They will always be proud of you. Your walls, oh my love your walls, lower them or better yet, destroy them. Let people in your life, always be kind. If they end up hurting you, forgive but never forget because that's a lesson that will build you, that will make you even stronger than yesterday. 

Most importantly, be you. Please don't be afraid to be you. Who cares if people don't like you for who you are? Don't ever change for them, but stay the way you are for the people who love you. Of course, if you have a habit that you should get rid of then this is the time to do it. Get rid of it, replace it with a better habit. You know what I mean. 

Live your life at your own pace, even if its a little slower than everyone else. Who are you trying to catch up to, really? 

Live for you, & no one else.

Its okay. 

Life is a crazy ride, just hold on & see where it'll take you.